Paria Sahihi


I get upset when I see it’s burning and there is nothing I can do.
Then I like to throw it all up, pull a thread, tie a knot to it and just let it go. So it goes to where it is not supposed to go and disappears. Just in a way that it’s never found again.
Sometimes I think I have a hole inside of me. I have a hole inside of me and I am leaking. I can feel it. It leaks and leaks until there is nothing more left. But as there is almost nothing left it fills up again, and what is this feeling? This feeling that it never ends.
I can sink my head into my holes and see it all the way through the end. In a way that they enlarge and sometimes they are so small that you can’t even see them. But they are there; it’s just that you can’t see them. I know someday they will push through one of the holes and get out. Good or bad. And sometimes it hurts but it’s needed.
Sometimes you have to let it grow and get out.
Let the balloons loose, with or without a thread. They will either burst or…
I suddenly see my mouth opened and it is born in my hands, that’s when…
Sometimes you have to cover them. Sometimes you have to ignore them so they would grow on their own. A little later, they are so grown that they can no longer fit. They no longer fit inside of you.
Sometimes it bursts and grows. Sometimes it grows and bursts. What is constant is the growing part, in that it never stops growing. It grows bigger and bigger. That’s when you realize how much it hurts. That it is time to let the balloons loose, with or without a threads. They will either burst or…